Pain. Or sorrow, I don't know. I just know it hurts. Bad.

Angry. Mad. Yes, I am. But also scared. Of never having your warm embrace again. Never feeling your sent, your smell, your touch. Never having your love again...

Why? Because of the same old stupid arguments. Same old stupid things. You don't want me - they are more to you then I am.

I'm the stupid one. To think for a moment - a tiny moment - that I could reach THE special place in your thoughts. In your heart. In your mind. Like you've reached mine.

Yeah. As if. How stupid I am? You will always be there for them, your will always be there for those who I know and adore, you will always be there for someone I don't even know. But for me? Nah. Far too much to do. Far too in your mind. To think you would turn to me for support, but, look - surprise, surprise!! You turn to them. And when I brutly interrupt the dream, with my needs... WOW! No can do. Not for me. For my mum? Shure. For my sister? Already done. For your friends and collegues? Of course. For me? WTF??? No way.

Too bad for me. The little miracle, the thing that would last forever... broken, consumed by your need of friends. Well, guess what; they will not support you when you need. Their escape is thru boose, thru forguetness. Me? I supported you once, with no boose. Just love. And tenderness. Together, we've shared the tears, the fears, the laughter and... the crying pain.

Now? WTF. They are more important.

Thru this, I thank God one thing. Your Son is STILL more important to you then them.

But not me.